[x]

GoneI've chosen the gun.
I gently take the bullets from my hand.
I kiss each one.
There are two.
For reassurance.
I'm about to go through.
I decide to put it to my head.
Cliche, I know,
But it won't matter when I'm dead.
I count to three.
I pull the trigger.
No more me.
Cause I'm gone!

I've chosen the rope.
I knot it carefully.
I've lost all hope.
I make sure it's tight.
I hang it from the fan.
I turn off the fan lights.
The chair is pulled from my desk.
I position it just so.
The rope fits snuggly around my neck.
One foot is hanging in the air.
Now there are two,
Dangling there.
Cause I'm finally gone!

I've chosen the knife.
A five-inch on

Wonderfully Lost, Unfortunately FoundI used to be lost in my own thoughts.
Fantasy, horror, there were lots,
I enjoyed them all.

Away from the light, I lived in my head,
And chose the dark side instead,
Because there I felt important and tall.

I made up immginary friends,
Who said they'd be with me till the end,
And I accepted that as my reality.

Soon, I adjusted to the coarse way of life,
Did away with the strife,
But I buried myself in illusonary debris.

Lived life like a wild child,
Who went through the day with a murderous smile,
Forcing away all the opposing doubts.

Then one day, real life came along,
Didn't approve of this song,
And it pulled me directly out.

Then I

Farewell to MeI search for the light,
but find only death,
can't find a way out,
can't catch my breath.

Will anyone come to help,
save me from this place?
No. No one will come.
I don't deserve their grace.

I will sit in misery,
drowning with each tear.
Day after day.
Year after year.

I used to hope,
think someone would help,
take me from here,
and I'd find myself.

But this is my fate.
I'll never be free.
This is my end,
my farewell to me.

Lost SoulsFor some sorrow is not just an event
It is a place they spend their entire lives
Tears and loneliness their endless lament
In a darkness where their agony thrives

Walking their tormented path of pain
Their eyes are empty, their voices hushed
Continuing onward with nothing to gain
Souls too twisted and hopelessly crushed

Unreachable now because they are lost
Ghostly shells that creep along the night
For them this is what living has cost
Drained of hope there is no reason to fight

NeverW're always talking about the furture and the things we're going to do,
About doing crazy things and all the trouble we'll get into.

Of all the wierd things that'll happen to us,
Of all the memories that will never get left in the dust.

But it almost hurst to think that those times will never come
Almost, but all this has left me numb.

All the things I'll never have done,
And I'll never wake to see the sun.

All the loving people I'll never meet,
I'll never taste that love so sweet.

All the things I'll never have seen,
And I'll never get the chance to be me.

It was more than I could take,
But is this really an escape?

To me, it's not th

Tragedy to TriumphWith ice in her veins
And a heart as dark as a moonless night
Her soul bound by chains
Her mind wants to give up this eternal fight

She's lost and alone
In a world she doesn't belong
Suffering is all she's ever known
She's lost her will to be strong

She sees through the eyes of tragedy
And hears only what her mind wants to say
She feels nothing but apathy
Even in her dreams she's gone astray

This was me
But a year ago
Through tragedy
I finally know

I've learned through trials and woe
That this life is for living
To embrace it and grow
Through letting go and forgiving

Everyday is a new start
I've got nothing to lose
If I listen to my hear

Broken LoveFractured fingers of splintered ice
Through the heart do swiftly slice
Like shards of sharp broken glass
Easily frozen if you do it fast
Tears are only but salty water
Leading you to bloody slaughter
So quickly now, before you bleed
Give up this stupid childish need
Love is nothing but a dream
It shall only make you scream
So give it up and toss it far away
There’s nothing but pain if you go that way
So run, hide quickly in sanity’s hills
For some love does not save, it only kills

My MonstersI can't breathe.
It's too tight.
I hear so many things,
can't trust my sight.

The monsters surround.
No, they're not really here.
They reach out to grab me.
They smell my fear.

Have I finally lost my mind?
Am I totally insane?
Is this all in my head?
Is it just a sick game?

Or are they really there?
Do they smile as I scream?
Do they laugh at my tears?
Please, let this be a dream.

But it's not a dream.
I can't get out.
A hand surrounds my neck,
no air to shout.

Tears stream freely.
They start to close in.
I pray to god to help me,
to forgive all my sin.

The world starts to fade.
I can no longer see.
I smile in bliss.
I'm finally free.

Are you blind?Are you blind to my misery,
Or do you choose not to look?
I want to share my story,
But you close me like a book.

I'm screaming as I cry,
But you refuse to hear.
Look away as I die,
Ignore each little tear.

Am I not loud enough?
Is that why you ignore my scream?
My life is tough,
Help me escape this bad dream.

I scream a bit higher.
Please, I need your help!
My circumstances are dire.
I'm losing myself.

But you do not help me,
And I've decided to give up.
Maybe then you'll see.
Ha! That's just my luck.

If you were meIf I were you,
and you were me,
maybe then,
you would see.

How your words
cut and burn.
Maybe then
you would learn,

and if i were you,
maybe then I'd see
why all the insults
lead to me,

but you are you,
and i am me.
Neither one of us
will ever see.

Blinded are we both
to the others struggles and strife.
So lets leave each other be,
get on with my life.

Life is a SiCkNeSsWhat's wrong?
I'm sick, so very sick.
See, I'm bleeding, and coughing, and hurting,
I must be sick.

Life is a sickness.
Nobody will give the cure.
If you won't, then I'll do it myself,
Until then I'll stay happy and pure.

I'm not contagious.
I promise, I swear.
I'm falling, and failing, and hitting the ground,
It seems like there's no one there.

There's no cure.
I wish there was an easy way.
Everyone looks to have found an escape, not me,
But, I'm stuck here to stay.

I'm sick .
No one's going to help me.
I'm sick .
Cure me.

Panic Attack"No wonder no one likes you."

I think.

"Your flaws are obvious,

your smile transparent."

My thoughts gnawing at me.

I'm pathetic.

I run my fingers through my hair,

Pushing it away from my flushed skin.

I feel like I'm choking, I'm drowning.

I want to scream but I can't even breath.

My lungs are aching, my shoulders heaving.

My head filled with my mistakes.

I can't deny that everything is my fault.

I deserve to be hated.

My frame trembling,

My face hot from tears.

I can literally feel my heart breaking,

I'm falling apart.

This whole scene occurring

Right behind my closed door,

Everyone else oblivious.

Just because my world

TruthHow do you see me?
The way I give myself off?
The way I wish I could be?

The person is different,
They aren't me.
Maybe this, is what you see:

A girl obsessed with killing and gore,
Integrating herself with psychos,
A girl who's looking for blood, more and more;

A girl who enjoys creepy people out,
Smiling and threatening slow painful deaths,
Being loud, just to scream and shout;

A girl who wants horror and chills,
Watching gorey R-rated movies,
Just to give herself thrills;

A girl who takes violent music literally,
And uses them for future inspiration....
But that's not me. I'm sorry.

Let's revise that, the person you know,
To the litt

Past the point of no return isPast the point of no return is
Being shocked when your scars fade away,
And jump at the chance to replace them,
At the chance to watch the blood drip fast onto the sheets
At the chance of the holding the relief of the knife handle.

Past the point of no return is
Drinking to the bottom of the bottle,
Of London Dry Gin,
And not realizing it until you finish,
Not realizing it until you cough up blood,
Not realizing it until you're over the sink throwing up.

Past the point of no return is
Pouring out more pills than you know you can take,
And swallowing them by the handful,
Swallowing them and sitting there still in pure agony,
Swallowing them

ForgetIs it possible for you to remember, to forget?
Let's remember when we laughed,
Or when we first met,
Times we'll never regret?
Let's remember smiling at how stupid we were,
Or, how we pointed to normal people,
And said, 'Look at her !'
'Yeah, for sure!'
Let's remember slapping each other upside the head,
Hugging attacks,
Or taking each other's pencils and wasting the lead.
But can you forget, when I'm dead?

I'm not dead now, not yet.
I'm waiting, deciding,
On a date to be set,
A day to be met.
You try to help, to reach for my hand,
But there are others waiting for you.
For the promised land,
Waiting for help that isn't a command.
It's not

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Pain In The Eyes Of The Beholder

by ~Freezingsteelmurder, Feb 1, 2013, 8:26:35 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

The best thing about a scar
Is that it shows the pain is over,
The wound is healed.
It shows that I've stopped drinking,
Now I'm sober.

It shows, that for now I'm happy with the people I love,
And have put away the knife.
That their happiness is placed first,
I won't take my life tonight.

Then why to everyone else a scar is a sin?
A sign of illness?
Of giving in?
That it makes me a freak?
That it makes me dissapointing?
That it makes me weak?
You say because of this, everything will get worse.
What have i got to lose.
You say this is poisoning me, to get rid of this curse
You don't even know the half of it.

If you know nothing, you are in no place to say
That this makes me stupid.
An idiot.
You have no right to scream at me, when you have no idea, though you tink you may.
Can't you see?
This is half of what's causing this?
What you're doing to me?
If this is so stupid
It makes me worthless, weak, crazy
That is should be in a hospital
The be prepared to take me there, DOA.
You'll cleanse me of my 'sins' one way or another.
You don't care how it's done
That doesn't matter
You just want to make me perfect, or as you say, 'better'......

Pain In The Eyes Of The Beholderby ~Freezingsteelmurder

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

yeah

um

this is directed towards my family. they have only seen my arms, and a thousand times now theyve threated to call the hospital, mental facility, doctor, therapist, to throw me outside in the snow, and, once i overheard my grandmother say, 'if you wanna fucking cut yoursefl? heres the knife.'
i could kill her.
she knows nothing.

~KaoriSilverMoon Feb 2, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Wow... Read the description... That sucks. Excellent piece.

~thechosenonee1 Feb 1, 2013 Student Writer

Ikr. My mom saw the smiley face on my leg and was liken"WTF CHEYENNE. IF UR GONNA TURN INTO UR COUSIN THEN IM GONNA TREAT U LIKE HER AND SEND U TO A THERAPIST". Btich.

~Freezingsteelmurder Feb 1, 2013 Student General Artist

this is an ongoing thing in my family
and i cant even tell them why :/
and im not going to therapy AGAIN

and my legs are worse, your smiley face is barely noticeable, lucky. at least you can wear shorts/a bathing suit Dx

~thechosenonee1 Feb 1, 2013 Student Writer

>_< my mom noticed it when it was reed and really noticeable before it turned thin white.

~Freezingsteelmurder Feb 1, 2013 Student General Artist

yeah
i just dont wear shorts
kinda not wearing gym shorts either

my grandparents noticed the deep ones on my wrists when they were still sorta bleeding so :/

~thechosenonee1 Feb 1, 2013 Student Writer

:/ that sucks

~Freezingsteelmurder Feb 1, 2013 Student General Artist

yup
thats hwy i said i cant go to the beach trip this ear with the class

~thechosenonee1 Feb 1, 2013 Student Writer

:/ I'm goin to bed. I es sotiredddddd. I'll talk to u on dA tomorrow to see of u an come with us.

~Freezingsteelmurder Feb 1, 2013 Student General Artist

you better to try to...wait, ill ask :/

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